mechanical pencils

i went shopping for school supplies today. before today, i've never set foot in wal-mart. and i don't plan on it. my mother was in one of her devil-may-care, lets go and drive around in the moonlight, 'david sylvian' with a pinch of 'the smiths' moods. i sometimes enjoy them, sometimes they piss me off, as she turns into a strange 'not-my-mother' type of woman. but today i enjoyed it. after we bought sixty five dollars worth of stupid binders and notebooks, we talked about the smell of rain and gasoline. and how we missed england so much.
we brought up memories of sitting in traffic for hours coming back from richmond, the warm smell of roses that wafted on almost every street. the mild slightly icy winters that seem so easy now. walking to the train station every morning in my blazer and tie, passing all the florists on the way back home. sitting on the double decker on the way to kingston with my mum when we decided that parking wasn't an issue we wanted to deal with that day. the tiny single lane streets with semi-detached victorian houses aligning both sided of the street.
every friday, my mum would buy a bouquet of white and blush-pink flowers from the florist on the corner of heath gardens, {our road}, the one next to the sandwich shop. we would spend £40 on each bouquet, easily. and on those months where we were skint, we would still spend at least £20 on flowers. it really gets me thinking, we tried in england. we bought flowers, framed pictures, vases and other gorgeous bits-and-bobs on a weekly basis. in england we felt the need to impress. but now, in america, we just don't have the heart anymore to try. not that we think, 'americans aren't worth the effort.' or do we? here, people don't appreciate those little details as much as they did in london. 'thats a nice shirt, i like that band.' compared to 'wow, i love the god save the queen inspiration shown there, and that colour is a gorgeous shade of magnolia blossom.' okay so, thats not an everyday thing, but you understand where i'm coming from, don't you?
i'm ranting and probably not even making much sense. in short, i miss england. i miss london. i miss kingston and twickenham and hampton and richmond and all those lovely places. i miss living in a real victorian home. i miss the slang of my sunbury school. i miss all my lovely well dressed friends. i miss old blighty.
i want to go home.
but i don't have a choice right now.

long, meaningful embraces,
Laura xx