Bad•Day•Today :|

It's winter. And it's cold. I hate winter, I really do. The only reason this post contains proper punctuation and all that is because I'm using my brother's iPod Touch and it automatically corrects me if I forget to put a full-stop here, or a comma there etc. I shoveled the drive-way just a few minutes ago and my fingers are tingling from being so cold. I've worked so hard this past week or so, if actually applied myself to more than just school and my hair. I cleaned the entire house exceptionally well and I did it all on the basis of pure volunteer work. And what do I get in return? Nothing except my whole family making a trail of mess behind them every hour of the day, and some ultra bitch sessions from my mum. I'm trying to help her out and take care of the house for her but no one really appriciates it. They barely notice how emaculate the house looks when they come home, nut instead they fuck it all up again. I'm not a hired and paid maid. I'm just a fifteen year old kid who is looking after two eight year old, a sixteen year old and a mother. It's tough, but all I want is some help, and so e appriciation. I've been writing poems recently. Maybe I'll share some.

I press my face up against the cold glass
my breath blurs my vision
words cemented to my throat
I feel your fingers crawling
around my frail waist
Sunken eyes closing
I instantly weaken
you drag me to the bedroom
and have me strewn across the linen
our eyes will never meet
I still can't speak
you make your way to the mirror
but you can't look
((Dorian Grey stares right back
a monster in disguise))
I lay awake until the sky brightens
and watch you dose the lights
our fingers interlock
cold hands embrace each other
sunlight drips down the walls
worries temporarily dissolve
only lingering in the air
waiting to return again
---

I think it's alright. Not too great but not too bad. I swear any day now, I'm going to run out ofthis house. While she wabitching at me, i felt such an impulse to leave. But I'm too much of a goody-goody to actually act on it. I need to leave, I need to getout of here. I tryandtry and try to do something right but all I get is constant criticism, I hate it. She asks what's wrong, so I tell her. Then she gives me this look that convinces me that if I say another word, she'll throw herhandsaround my neck and kill me. It's seriously a homicidal look. Fuck it. What else can I do? I really need to get the fuck out of here. I could, right now; just leave, get out ofthis fucking house. God I hate being a teenager, it' fucking shitty.

Try have a better day than me, please.
Laura xx

hate-hate-hate-hate

while browsing some videos on You Tube, i came across a video by a girl named Amanda who decided she'd use her 15 minutes of fame by slating such bands as Paramore, Cute is What We Aim For, We the Kings, All Time Low, Metro Station and some others too. She basically hates the mainstream, aside from Fall Out Boy and Cobra Starship. I have no idea as to what could have possibly possessed this poor, bored young girl to post such a video. She actually seems to hate these bands so much, she has actually become OBSESSED with them. She has also received so much hate mail in response that I can't believe she still makes videos! She researches the bands and makes EVERY SINGLE video about 'those horrible bands' and about how much she hates them. She talked about albums she hates and expresses her 'expertise' on music. She even gives an album a bad rating even though she hasn't given it a chance. Now I'm not a fan of all time low, we the kings, cobra starship or metro station but the last thing I'm going to do is bitch them out on YouTube. She does in fact like fueled by ramen bands, a lot, and therefore has no right to call the FBR bands she hates, tacky and 'annoying'. She likes those 'tacky' bands but is too busy bitching to realise that. I applaud those who posted responses reasonably, without just firing back insults.
apparently she actually loves FBR bands. People are mostly thinking that she is just coming clean to avoid even more angry replies etc.
whatever she's doing, i wish she would stop. oh good God she bugs me. haha! oh the 21st century.

Sweet Dreams
Laura xx

there's nothing left in the midwest anyway

it snowed today! yeah, it settled on the grass but not on the pavement, thankfully. i'm sitting by the heater because i'm freezing! a letter to you is playing, and Stefan is working diligently on his AP euro homework. i'll have to force myself through another winter in Michigan. . . can i? it's not going to be easy, i can assure you. but as long as i have my amazing friends i'll survive the brutal weather.
ha ha, it's so funny how i can't sing at all! i wish i could though because i love music. i'll have to stick to the behind-the-scenes of the musical world. i'll still sing in the privacy of my own home though, i just can't help it :]. nothing really interesting has happened recently, well, i sent off a rather...umm...mean letter to someone about how i feel about them lately. i did it impulsively, which i very unlike me. but i typed it without really thinking too much about them and i just printed, yes printed it out, gave it to them and walked away. and i haven't seen them since. :D i got a lot off my shoulders this weekend. i'm freeeeee!

sleep tight
Laura xx

meat's no treat for those you eat

this is why i wont be eating a real turkey this thanksgiving:

every year at thanksgiving, my grandma buys the biggest, fattest turkey she can find. weird isn't it... i've never seen a turkey that fat with such tiny legs... that is because turkey suppliers breed the turkeys so that they grow fat fast in order to 'get their moneys worth'. this is no way more a turkey to grow up. they grown so fat so fast that their legs can't keep up and are crushed under their over fattened bodies. they are unable to move and grow sickly and weak. and all just so a family can get extra meat on their plate. turkeys are smart, and they can feel pain. it isn't fair on them.
i wont be eating real turkey (or any meat at all) this thanksgiving because i don't support this unethical treatment of animals. take a stand and help animals today, refuse to eat meat this thanksgiving. if you can make it through thanksgiving, then you can make i through anything.
go to www.peta2.com for more information and free stickers. (because everyone loves stickers!)

happy turkey month
Laura xx

just thinking

you could learn to love me,
but i can't stand the thought.
images run through my mind,
memories of when we fought.

i'll ask myself these questions,
over and over in my mind.
and i wont come up with any answers,
but just wish we could rewind.

you know what you do to me,
and you do it so well.
you keep me eyes open all night,
and i know you can tell.

you whisper to me,
everything that wasn't true.
i could learn to love you,
but you couldn't stand the thought, could you?





good-night
Laura xx